


Fighting Ice with Fire

by sarcastic_fina



Category: Lost Girl
Genre: 3x06 - The Kenzi Scale, F/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-26
Updated: 2013-03-26
Packaged: 2017-12-06 13:33:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/736263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarcastic_fina/pseuds/sarcastic_fina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>post-The Kenzi Scale. Dyson and Kenzi have some things to sort out, like why killing the fae who was masquerading as her hurt so much, and the feelings they have for one another that run a whole lot deeper than friendship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fighting Ice with Fire

[ ](http://lostgirlfaebles.tumblr.com/post/46063404003)

 

She couldn't stop shivering. She'd been loaded down with every blanket in the joint, but she still felt like she was stuck in that cave, the chilled air seeping into her bones, making her shake so hard it actually hurt. Trying to rid herself of the memory, she curled up into a ball, drew her knees up to her chest and gripped them tight with frozen fingers. She nuzzled the blanket, trying to press her face against the fabric, but it felt scratchy against her skin. Part of it was probably the shower she took, so hot her skin came out a bright, raw red. The other part might be psychological, but she chose to ignore that. Ignorance was bliss after all, and didn't she know it.

She'd spent so many nights sleeping on the streets that this should be a piece of cake. But Kenzi had gotten so used to a nice, warm bed that not coming home to it felt like a whole new experience. She briefly considered the kick to her rep, but then decided to worry about it later. It'd been three years since she was just a street rat, fending for herself and just scraping by, and she more than earned her room in the "crack den" that was her home with Bo. Maybe she wasn't a badass _fae_ , but she was a badass all the same. And so what if she'd gotten a little soft! Anybody would be feeling the burn if they were forcibly kept in a cave with some psycho bitch trying to clone their awesomeness.

Her eyes squeezed shut and a sigh shuddered out of her chest. She'd been stuck somewhere between overwhelming relief and disappointment since Bo and Dyson showed up to save her. She knew they would, even if Inari did her best to plant doubts in her head. If there was one thing the last three years had proven to Kenzi it was that Bo and Dyson would always help her out, even if she _was_ just a 'pathetic' human. But Inari had managed to get her thinking. All that time she'd spent down there... _Days_ in which nobody figured out that Inari might look like her, but she wasn't the real Kenzi. And sure, okay, so Inari did some research and tried to hammer down some Kenzi-isms, but _seriously_ , days went by and they couldn't see the difference? Talk about a blow to the unique brand that was The Kenz...

She was proud that Bo figured it out, even if it took a peanut allergy to get her guard up, but she was disappointed that the people closest to her didn't figure it out right away. And worse, the time leading up to her kidnapping, her friends hadn't exactly jumped on the support wagon when she tried to talk to them about her recent rash problem. Sure, she was glad that they'd cared and worried and kicked butt to come find her, but that didn't erase how she felt beforehand, being put aside and ignored in favor of everyone else's problems. She breathed in deep, trying to rationalize everything that had happened and bottle up all the negativity that'd been bogging her down. Kenzi didn't do negative. She tried her best to be positive most of the time. But the disappointment just wouldn't go away. And okay, fine, so maybe she was disappointed in some more than others...

How could Dyson not know? He was _literally_ rocking her body once upon a time! He knew her from the inside out thanks to a little body-swapping mojo. So how did he not realize that the wannabe freak wasn't the human who'd saved his wolf-butt on the reg?

It was wrong, and stupid, and totally against sister code, which was why she tried to ignore it and pretend like all the feels she had for wolf-boy were of the friendly, supportive, Team Dyson variety. But at some point a girl's gotta admit to herself when she's got it bad for tall, fae, and furry. Kibbles n' Bits had been there for her during some of her worst times, supporting her even when he tried to keep his distance from the 'not as genetically superior' human. And, around the same time she realized she could trust him with her life, little wolf-shaped butterflies had started running a death march in her stomach. He was Bo's. She'd told herself this over and over again. A mantra to keep her pickpocketing fingers from reaching for something she couldn't have but desperately wanted.

Her eyes stung as she opened them once more. She should take this as a sign. It was time to get over Dyson and put some distance between them. Everybody would probably write it off as her just being weird since the Kenzi-napping and let her have her space. Eventually, she and the D-man would just be friendly acquaintances with one thing in common: keeping Bo alive and well.

It was the smarter route anyway, since eventually Bo would probably set her heart back on the wolf and they'd live happily ever after, with little furry, succu-babies to round them out. Kenzi would be a happy aunt who didn't wish she was the one who popped out a litter of puppies, which would be totally awks anyway, so she should be good with her decision. Yes, the smarter route was the way to go. That was how she'd survived this long. Sure, she was young and immature and maybe she didn't always think things through before she acted, but this would _not_ be one of those times.

Biting her lip, she hefted the heavy blankets up higher and cursed her tiny body for not giving off more heat. Of course, a lack of food these last few days hadn't helped much either. Even if she had overindulged on some burgers earlier, she still felt like she was small and brittle and liable to break if she shook any harder. She huffed an annoyed breath out through her clenched teeth.

A knock at her door drew her attention and she pursed her lips. Bo had dropped her at home and offered to hang out with her until she fell asleep, but after being updated on the Dawning front, she thought it was better if her bestie spent some time with Trick getting more info. Which meant the person on the other side of the door was one of three people: Dyson, Hale or Lauren. Since Lauren was the likely bet, and would probably have a bunch of tests she wanted to do, all of which would involve prodding and answering questions, she shook her head.

"I don't want whatever you're pushin'…" She paused. "Unless it's food. In that case, you're permitted access. Leave all goodies within reach and don't expect conversation!"

The door creaked open and she waited, frowning when she didn't smell the delicious scent of grease on the air. The heavy clomp of footsteps followed, however, and she changed her mind. No way was that the Doc, who was all soft and feminine and would probably float if she could.

She smelled him before she saw him; musky, with a smoky wood scent mixed in.

"What's up, pooch? Thought you'd be helping Bobo and Trick out…" she said in greeting. She offered a grin even if she wasn't feeling it. Kenzi knew how to fake being fine; it was practically ingrained in her from birth.

"Bo was pretty overwhelmed. Lauren's helping her through it," he said simply, before moving to take a seat next to her.

The bed slumped noticeably in his direction; his weight was significant compared to her own, what with all the attractive muscles he boasted. He stared down at her, his head cocked in a noticeably canine way, and his eyes soft, kind, and affectionate. She inwardly cursed at the wolf-flies in her stomach, "Остановить получать свои надежды, идиоты!" (Stop getting your hopes up, you idiots!)

Dyson's eyes cut away from her and down to the blankets that covered her. His mouth picked up on one side. "You got enough blankets, Kenz?"

"I could do with a few more. Why? You bring reinforcements?" she returned, brows hiking.

He glanced at her, brow furrowed, humor fading. "Are you still cold?"

She shrugged. "I'm tiny. Takes a while to warm up." She offered him an exaggerated wink. "Will you still love me if I lose a few toes to frostbite?"

He sighed, long and heavy. "Move over."

She frowned. "What? _No._ You're probably a blanket hog!"

He started digging, searching for the first blanket so he could lift the whole pile and Kenzi wiggled, trying to stop him without upsetting the way they were tucked in to keep what little warmth she'd generated from getting out. "Dog's sleep at the end of the bed!" she exclaimed.

Dyson ignored her, finally fishing out the end of the bottom blanket and pulling it up. A rush of cool air seeped in and she made a comical 'eep!' noise. He got himself situated, kicking off his boots before he climbed under the blankets with her, easily hauling her tiny body up next to his as he rested his head back against the pillows, free arm tucking overhead.

Slowly, hesitantly, Kenzi relaxed into his embrace. He was so big compared to her, something she'd noticed many times in the last few years, but this felt different. She'd traded in her dirty, torn clothes for something softer and more comfortable; her favorite pair of boxer shorts and a tank-top, both of which left her arms and legs bare. The denim of his jeans rubbed against her legs, which she adjusted so one was spread over his knees for comfort's sake. Her head rested up near his shoulder, her hand struggling to find a place before eventually falling to his chest, where she could feel his heart thumping underneath.

Much as she didn't want to admit it, she could already feel his body heat warming her. This was so _not_ what she had planned. Not ten minutes ago she'd decided she needed space from him and now they were closer than probably ever before, with exception for the body-swapping thing. She was pretty sure there was no way to actually get any closer than being in the other's body, feeling what the other felt. Still… This was intimate in a different way.

Dyson's fingers reached up and scrubbed through her hair, stroking it back from her temple, the edges of his fingers brushing against the shell of her ear. It was soothing. Her eyes fluttered to half-mass, sleep feeling closer than it had in a while.

"We were lying like this just before Inari… died," he told her, his voice a deep rumble.

She stilled, her lips turning down in a frown. "Yeah, Doc said something about you having to put Foxface down, said you shot her… What was up with that anyway? I know Tamsin's a valkyrie and she hit you with some weird 'doubt yourself' mojo…"

"It's complicated, but, when I still thought she was you, I had her stay at my place… She said she was scared of Bo, who, at the time, seemed like she was acting crazy…"

She snorted. "Well _that_ should've been a tip-off, no way would be afraid of Bobo. She's my girl!"

Dyson's fingers paused in her hair. "You have to understand, Kenz. She _smelled_ like you. She… She looked _exactly_ like you."

She swallowed, fighting the urge to squirm. "So you trusted her."

"After Tamsin, I was tired, _exhausted_ , and I laid down… You— _Inari_ climbed in beside me, laid with me just like this, and I… I knew something wasn't right, but I was… _confused_ , so I just let her, and tried to get some sleep."

"Which is when she went Black Widow, I'm guessing…" She scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Inari tried to get on the wolf-junk, and that's when you had to put her down?"

"She _licked_ me…" He shook his head, a faint laugh leaving him. "That's when my instincts started to kick in."

"Licked you _where?_ " she wondered, lifting her head up to see him better.

But Dyson apparently didn't feel like having this conversation face to face, because he drew her head back down to lay against him. "Just my face…" he explained. "But it wasn't something you'd do, so—"

"So you got trigger-happy and put down the psycho half of the Fox and the Hound."

"Not right away…" His voice was distant, like he was still there, reliving it in his head. "She said… She said some things, not all of them untrue, and she grabbed the gun. I… I was still trying to get my bearings."

Kenzi went still. "She was gonna shoot you?"

He rubbed his thumb down under her ear and she was surprised by how good it felt, almost distracting enough to keep her from pressuring him for more information.

"Wait, so… From where you were standing, it looked like _I_ was gonna shoot you…" Her eyes darted, trying to imagine it. Her, with a gun, threatening to put Dyson down. It made her stomach twist and bile burn at her throat.

"We struggled for the gun, it—it went off, and she… She died."

Kenzi hummed, rubbing her cheek against him. "Wolf trumps fox, _so_ not surprised."

His finger burrowed into her hair and squeezed. "You don't understand, Kenzi. She… She _looked_ like you. She _smelled_ like you and… after she died, she _wouldn't change back_." His voice caught for a moment and it alerted her more than anything.

Dyson was shaking.

Not nearly as badly as she was when she'd been shivering from the cold, but his long body was quaking as it laid against her.

It hit her suddenly, like a slap in the face.

He thought he'd killed her. Little, breakable, human Kenzi. He thought she'd tried, and failed, to seduce him, went homicidal rejected lover on him, and then died in the process… Talk about a mind-fuck.

"When Lauren showed up, she said you were freaking out…" Actually, she said he was hysterical and crying, not an image Kenzi could really imagine. Dyson had always been in control, it was his way of life.

"I thought it was you. I thought I'd killed you. I—I didn't know what to do."

If she were being honest, the whole thing put a new spin on an already shitty situation. Not only did they not realize the Kenzi-lookalike was a poor imitation, but Dyson had rejected who he _thought_ was her and then killed her.

But this wasn't about Kenzi's hurt feelings or her obviously unreturned romantic feelings, it was about Dyson and his obvious PTSD over possibly killing his friend. So she would do what she always did; put her own problems to the back of her mind and focus on her current fae's issues. If it wasn't Bo, it was Dyson, or Hale, or Trick. Hell, even Lauren had to come first sometimes. And Kenzi knew how to bottle; she was an _expert_ bottler. So this wasn't new, and she told herself it didn't even hurt that much anymore.

Stretching, she turned herself over to face him. "It's totally cool, D-dog. The Kenz is fine," she reassured, grinning at him. "No bullet holes, no flesh wounds, no nothing. Well, I might be a little hungry…" She shrugged. "Hey, I'm not even all that cold anymore thanks to all your wolfy heat!"

He stared down at her, shaking his head, unwilling to let it rest at that. "The body I was holding was yours… You were bloody and broken and not breathing… It doesn't matter that it was Inari, it _looked_ like you. I _thought_ …. I thought it was you."

Reaching a hand up, she brushed it over his cheek, scratchy with faint whiskers. "You need to shed the self-hate, D. Some part of you knew it wasn't me." She searched his eyes, smiling sincerely. "You'd never hurt me. You love me too much; I'm the only human you can put up with."

His lips twitched faintly before he leaned down to kiss her forehead, holding her tight a moment longer, sighing against her skin. Kenzi closed her eyes and reveled in it. This would probably be the one and only time she and Dyson shared a bed and got this close. It would be the last time she let herself enjoy him in a non-friendly way. So she had to enjoy it while it lasted.

When Dyson drew back, he paused. She was surprised when he pressed a kiss to the space between her eyebrows, and another to the tip of her nose. He was moving slowly, his lips only faintly brushing her skin. He turned his head, his whiskers tickling her, and kissed her cheek and then down, to the corner of her lips, where her breath caught.

Her hand on his chest gripped his shirt tight, balling the fabric in her palm. She wanted to say his name, question what he was doing, and at the same time didn't want to stop him, didn't want to remind him who he was doing it to. He kissed her chin and met her eyes, his lips hovering close enough to hers now that she could feel his warm breath as it left him.

"I thought I lost you," he murmured, his voice deep and heavy. "It hurt… _everywhere_ … I couldn't _breathe_. I couldn't _think_. To think I'd done it, I'd _hurt_ you…" His hand gripped her hair at the nape of her neck.

She watched as a sheen of tears covered his eyes and felt his fear, his guilt, and something else fill the room, already thick with tension. His heart hammered under her hand, quick and hard. "Dyson," she started.

He cut her off with his lips pressed to hers. It was just a close-mouthed kiss at first, the pressure of his grief molding their lips together. And then he breathed, he parted his lips and hers with them, and it changed from hurt to hungry. He licked into her mouth, his tongue hot as it flicked the back of her teeth and trailed over the roof of her mouth before dragging against her tongue, slow and thick with wanting. His body turned to meet hers better, his arm sliding around her waist, hand spread over her back, drawing her closer.

She hitched a leg over his hip, pulling him in tight, meeting his tongue as her teeth gently scraped over his top lip. She hummed, lost in the warm taste of him, the hard press of his body against hers, the possessive pull of his hands, twining in her hair and kneading their way down her back. His fingers slid around the curve of her ass and yanked her until their pelvises fit like puzzle pieces. Each deep breath he took had his chest rubbing against hers and she swore she feel his heart against her own.

It wasn't until he broke away, panting, and turned her flat onto her back, his body covering hers, his mouth making quick work of her neck, nipping and laving at each bite as his hips pressed into hers, that her brain kicked back in.

Whoa! Wrong, wrong, wrong! This was so _not_ how she'd planned on assuaging his guilt over killing non-Kenzi. And this was not how she kept her distance from already collared puppies. He was _Bo's!_ Not hers. And she needed to remember that. Even if what he was doing felt really, _really_ good.

His wolf junk, still safely tucked in his jeans, had made itself known, and was currently rubbing against some very interested lady-parts. But said lady-parts' owner had to put a stop to it, even if the quick twist of his hips was hitting a particularly nice spot.

Her hands gripped his shoulders, squeezed, and then tried to shove him off.

"Dyson," she said, only it wasn't a reprimand so much as a breathy encouragement. If she'd been less horny – _bad Kenzi_ – she might've rolled her eyes at herself. Only Dyson's mouth was pressing wet kisses down the V of her tank-top and if she didn't stop him soon, he was going to be meeting the girls. And then any self-control she had would be flying out the window.

"Dyson, stop!" she ordered, reaching a hand down and covering his mouth.

He did, but then glared up at her and nipped at the soft flesh of her palm.

"Ow! _Hey!_ " She frowned. "If you go Old Yeller on me, I will not hesitate to put a bitch down!"

He sighed, resting his elbows on the bed, and raised an eyebrow at her. "Why are we stopping?" he grumbled.

"Really?" Her eyes widened. " _That's_ your question?" She scoffed. "How about 'why are we _starting?_ ' Or an 'oh, sorry Kenzi, I was overwhelmed with grief and I accidentally mauled you. Won't let it happen again! _My bad!_ '"

He grinned slowly. "I didn't want to lie. I was hoping I _would_ be doing it again." He rested his chin on her chest and not so subtly nuzzled the curve of her breast.

She flicked his forehead. "Did I miss a memo when I was locked in the cave?" she wondered. "'Cause last I checked, you still subscribed to succubus loving."

Amusement fading, he licked his lips, a move that drew Kenzi's attention, whether she wanted it to or not.

"I love Bo," he started.

And that was Kenzi's cue.

She wiggled, trying to get out from beneath him and away from the whole situation. As far as she was concerned, they could add this to the list already compiled of the Norn and Dyson's love, meaning it was something Bo didn't need to know about and Kenzi could pretend she had no hand in. But Dyson was considerably larger, stronger, and unwilling to let her leave it at that.

He pressed his hips down and she was trapped. Not exactly the worst place to be, especially since he was still raring to go, but she didn't appreciate having her control taken out of her hands.

"Get off," she growled at him, "or you're never gonna have _puppies_."

"Just _wait_ ," he asked, searching out her eyes, which she purposely forced away from his. She kept wiggling, shoving at his shoulders, and seriously considering biting or scratching.

"Kenzi," he grunted.

Her hand rose to take a swipe at him, but he caught it, and her other one too, pinning them both above her head.

" _Listen_ to me!"

"Unless the next words out of your mouth are 'I'm sorry, this will never happen again, and we can both pretend it never happened,' then _no!_ "

His jaw ticked. "I'm not going to say that."

"Then I'm not listening!"

"You can be such a _child_ ," he muttered.

She glared. "You're not helping your case."

"Kenzi, I'm not _in love_ with Bo!"

She stopped struggling and very slowly let her head turn to face him, demanding answers.

"I… I _love_ her, she's my friend, but it's not… She's not my mate," he finished, shaking his head. "And she's _happy_ with Lauren, happier than I could ever make her. Her and I, we're not supposed to be together…"

"H-How? When did you…?" She shook her head, her eyes darting away, confused. " _What!?_ "

"I had my suspicions since I got my love back, but… I wasn't sure until today."

She blinked up at him, overwhelmed by the information and still trying to put it all together.

"When I thought you were gone, I… I couldn't _function_." He shook his head, staring down at her searchingly.

Her brow furrowed. "But… I'm just _human_ ," she reminded. "Kickass to the extreme, sure, but you're… _you_. And I—"

"I was wrong," he interrupted. "You're one of the strongest, bravest people I know, fae or not. You're loyal to a fault, smarter than I ever gave you credit for, and a survivor above all else." He released her hands, dragging his fingertips down one of her wrists and following her arm to her shoulder before, finally, it was cupping behind her neck, his rough fingertips rubbing the nape and scratching lightly at her hair. "I _know_ it's not perfect, but I want to be with you. I want to protect you and stand by you and hear you complain that I'm being an overbearing, possessive wolf. I… I want to _love_ you, Kenzi."

"You—You think we should be together, like some fae/human hybrid _thing_..."

"'Relationship' sounds more flattering," he said, his lips twisted in a wry smile.

She ignored him. "You think I'm your mate," she whispered, her chest suddenly heavy, her head a little foggy.

His thumb rubbed the hinge of her jaw and down her chin. "I _know_ you are," he said seriously.

She shook her head, swallowing tightly, and the humor she usually used to defuse a tense situation fled her. Her heart was banging hard in her chest, but she wasn't sure if that was fear, anticipation, hope, or some weird combination of all of the above. "Dyson, I… I'm _not_ —"

He kissed her. It wasn't like the previous one, heady with passion and want and need. It was soft and sweet and he suckled her bottom lip, his teeth very lightly nibbling, and she shivered. Not from cold, not from discomfort or uncertainty, but because a low heat had started to build inside her. The pressure in her chest unfurled and, with it, awareness, comfort, and familiarity flowed through her. Heat filled her to the brim, but it was controlled. Not like those fires her cousin Pavel used to set when they were younger, consuming everything in their path. This was like a flame that lived inside her, looking for a wick, a specific something, to catch fire with it.

She drew her hands down and buried them in his hair, stroking down his neck, one after the other, scrubbing at his skin and behind his ears. He hummed, a pleased growl escaping him and vibrating through her mouth while he slid his hands under her shoulders and lifted her up, bringing her closer. Their lips slanted together, noses rubbing, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, squeezing.

"Tell me you feel that," he panted, nipping her bottom lip. "That heat, Kenz, like a fire licking at you from the inside out. _Searching_ for something, trying to connect…" He nuzzled her nose and pressed his forehead to hers. "You _are_ my mate."

"Ugh, this _so_ wasn't part of the birds and bees talk… Where's the wolf mate 101 talk, huh? Nobody prepared me for this! I… I thought you were _Bo's!_ You were off limits!" She clapped her hands on his shoulders, her brow knit. "I'm—I'm the sidekick here, D-man. You don't fall for the sidekick! You're supposed to follow the hero guidebook and be the knight in shiny fur who falls for the hot, Amazonian succubus, _not_ the quirky, human."

"Well, I'm not your average hero," he muttered. Kissing the two beauty marks just to the right of her lips, he added, "And you're not the average human."

"The Kenz _is_ special," she admitted.

He laughed, a deep rumble echoing from his chest. "Does that mean 'The Kenz' is going to give this wolf a chance?" He raised an eyebrow and drew his head back to look at her better, smiling sincerely down at her. "We don't have to jump into anything right away. We can take it slow; see how you feel about things…"

She frowned. "Wolves mate for life…"

He paused, but finally nodded.

"So whatever this is…" She motioned between them, "that means even if I don't hop on the furry train, you're stuck feeling this way."

"I would never pressure you to love me, or be with me, Kenzi… I just want a chance to show you that I'm worthy… That I would be a good mate to you."

"There's not a whole lot of convincing you need to do here. At least not on my end, but…" She shook her head, her eyes falling. "There's _Bo_ to think about here, and—"

"Bo doesn't love me, and I don't love her, not like that."

"But she _did_ love you, and there's a code between sisters, okay? I can't just—just hop into matehood, or _whatever_ , just because I love you too. That's not how it works. I—"

"You love me?" he interrupted.

"For the love of fae, can a girl finish a sentence?" she exclaimed.

He grinned. "You said you loved me."

She pursed her lips. "Pretty sure you totally missed my point."

He sighed, shaking his head. "Do you love me?"

She stared at the ceiling over his shoulder. "There is a possibility that I might feel something very close to love of the passionate variety for a wolf whose named rhymes with bison…" she allowed.

He didn't even bother hiding his grin. "Then we'll figure it out."

She looked over at him, her brow furrowed. "That's your plan? We'll _'figure it out'_?" She scoffed, her eyes wide as she patted his shoulder mockingly. "Expert strategist you are _not_ , wolf-boy."

He rolled his eyes. "I _mean_ … that it'll come together. We'll find a way." He bent down and kissed the tip of her nose, rubbing a thumb over her cheek softly. "We love each other, Kenzi… the rest will follow."

"That's a pretty optimistic outlook considering the shitstorm our lives are usually in the middle of..." she mused, a brow arched skeptically.

"I'm a romantic," he said, lips twitching with amusement.

"Har, har." She patted his shoulder. "You're also heavy." She winced as she wiggled around. "Obviously this means I need to be on top."

His brows hiked as he slowly grinned suggestively.

"Hah, not tonight, but nice try." She wiggled her hips until he lifted himself up onto his knees. "We're going slow, remember? Like, arctic slow… Turtles, snails, and sloths slow!"

He nodded and moved over to lay next to her, on his side once more, his head braced on an upturned hand.

She watched him, turning over to mimic his position. "So…? Now what?"

"Now…" He laid back and slid his arm across her pillow to invite her closer. "We get some sleep."

She hesitated. "With all your clothes on?"

"I could lose some if you're okay with it."

She bit her lip, weighing her options between comfort and self-control. "Maybe just the pants… the denim's kinda rough," she finally said.

He gave a short nod before rolling up out of bed. Kenzi watched, perching her chin on her hand as he stripped his jeans down off his hips and folded them over, putting them on top of her dresser.

She bit the corner of her thumb and said, "Mm, maybe the shirt too." Her eyes sparkled up at him with feigned innocence as she watched him roll it up and off, the play of muscles rolling for her perusal as his undershirt slid up to show off hard, smooth skin. She swallowed dryly. Dyson in just his undershirt and underwear suddenly seemed like too much temptation.

But then her stomach grumbled, and the sexual tension was broken with an amused laugh.

He raised an eyebrow at her and she felt just shy of blushing. "What? Three days of starvation makes a girl hungry!"

His amusement faded with the reminder of her captivity and she almost wanted it to go back to before, where the only thing on his mind was having her in the here and now. She was pleasantly surprised when he simply cupped her head in his large hands, fingers tangled in her hair, and kissed her forehead. "Cereal?" he asked.

"The more sugar, the better," she answered happily.

He nodded, and she watched him walk away in all of his half-naked, tall, muscled glory. When he was out of sight, she sighed, dropping her face down to her mattress, banging her forehead against it. Much as Dyson's idea appealed to her, Kenzi knew it wouldn't be as easy as simply hoping everybody would be so happy they ignored the past. Dyson and Bo had been together, they'd loved each other, and he'd eventually broken her heart. Sure, Bo was super happy with the Doc, but that didn't mean she was totally and completely over Dyson… _Right_? And anyway, it was against the code. Then again, so was making out with said friend's ex, and she didn't imagine sleeping with him, even if it was the innocent variety, was exactly encouraged either.

Her uncertainty came back quick and harsh. If Dyson had thought Bo was his mate once upon a time, only to find out that wasn't true, what's to say he wasn't just confusing his fear of her dying with the call of his mate? What if in a week or a month or a year he suddenly realized that nope, Kenzi wasn't it for him, and by then, she'd already be totally gone over him. Hell, she was already half way there, and that was before they'd even kissed! Now… Now she had this feeling in her gut, this hunger gnawing at the underside of her heart, a heat spreading under her skin, and an awareness prickling at her senses. She wanted Dyson, she had for a while. And she did love him. She loved him in ways she shouldn't, that weren't right, that went totally beyond friendship and what would be appropriate for her bestie's ex. She was _in love_ with Dyson, and it didn't matter that she'd tried so hard to pretend she wasn't or that it was wrong, because now it was there, out in the open, and she wasn't sure she could stuff it back in.

Tears pricked at her eyes, so she closed them, squeezed them shut, and willed them away.

"Kenz?" The bed sloped toward his weight once more.

She opened her eyes and blinked quickly. "H-Hey." She pushed to sit up and reached for the bowl. "Hope you know Kenzi doesn't share, Balto."

He let her take it and simply watched for a moment. "Are you okay?"

"Fine. Better than fine. I'm _super!_ " she exaggerated, stuffing a large spoonful of colorful cereal into her mouth. "This is _delish_ ; you should pour yourself a bowl…"

He laid down on her bed, taking up half of it easily, pillowing his head with his arm, and watched as she stared contemplatively down into her bowl, stirring her cereal and frowning to herself.

He waited, letting her figure out what she was thinking, showing more patience than Kenzi could say she'd show in his position, before finally, she wondered, "How'd you not know…?" She chewed her lip. "If I'm your mate like you think, then how did you not figure out that it wasn't me?"

"Honestly…" he blew out a heavy breath. "I think it was wishful thinking."

Her brow furrowed as she turned to look at him, confused.

"The way you were with me, you were… affectionate. I—I _liked_ it. I liked having you close, having you rely on me…" He shook his head. "It felt good to hold you. And I guess I… I didn't want to question it, I didn't want it not to be real, and I didn't want to go back to keeping my distance. So I convinced myself that you really were scared of Bo and you just needed my help."

Her eyes fell again. Because she'd wanted that, she'd wanted to be close to him, but friendship had boundaries and she'd respected those as much as she could. She was still her, though, so she crossed them sometimes. Her friendship with Dyson had gotten progressively more comfortable over the years, so hugging him, touching him, wasn't out of the ordinary. Climbing into bed with him though, that was new. So far, from her experience, not a bad new. And really, his reasoning did put her fears to rest a little. At least the fears she'd had prior to finding out he thought she was his mate. Back when she was just hurt that her friends, the people she loved and trusted, didn't realize they were being duped in Attack of the Kenzi Clone. But those weren't her only fears now; no, a whole new crop had sprung up.

"Kenzi?"

"It makes me a bad friend… wanting to be with you," she finally admitted, grinding her teeth. "And Bo doesn't deserve that. She—She's my _best friend_ , Dyson. She's my _sister_."

"I'm not saying Bo won't be upset... I just think that, eventually, she'd be okay with it. She'd care more about you being happy."

"It shouldn't come at her expense though…" Her shoulders slumped; she gave up on her half-eaten cereal, and put it on her bedside table, before turning to face him, her knees pulled up to her chest, hands wrapped around her ankles. "Dyson, we _can't_ —"

His hand covered one of hers, squeezing her fingers, and she stopped herself, her voice caught in her throat. "Come here…"

She looked up, staring at him with wide, unsure eyes for a moment, before finally turning over to lay beside him once more, head balanced on his shoulder, tucked under his chin. She drew circles on his chest absently, a figure-eight over his heart.

"Your loyalty is one of the things I love most about you…" He ran his fingers through her hair gently. "I won't ask you to change that. I don't want you to." He rubbed his chin against her head affectionately. "We're not doing anything wrong here. I understand that you're not sure, that it feels like betrayal for you… So why don't we talk to Bo? If she gives you the green light, then we're fine, and if she doesn't…" He paused, struggled for a moment, and she felt his chest deflate underneath her. "Then I'll leave you alone."

She stopped, her hand stilled, and her heart seemed to freeze in her chest. "We… We'll still be friends though, right? You'll… still be around, right D-man?" She laughed, but it cracked, worried.

"I couldn't bear to be away from you too long even if I wanted to," he assured. "I'll just… I'll learn to keep my distance."

Kenzi blinked as tears burned and blurred her eyes. "This is hard," she breathed, scratching her fingers over his chest. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"Whatever makes you happy." He brushed her hair back from her face. "That's all I care about."

She balled her hand into a fist and punched him in the shoulder. "Self-sacrificing a-hole," she complained.

He chuckled lightly and hugged her tighter.

Sighing, she twined her legs with his and rubbed her face down against his chest, inhaling deeply, breathing in his scent. Calm washed over her and she closed her eyes, feeling tired once more. "We'll talk to Bo," she decided. "First thing tomorrow."

"Okay."

"We'll just have to be super convincing," she murmured. "Maybe we should bring the doc along, get her to distract Bo so she's easy pickings."

He stilled, hopeful. "You think that'd work?"

She shrugged. "Can't hurt to try."

He nodded thoughtfully.

"It's not that I don't wanna be with you, 'cause I do, _a lot_. I just… I think we should be careful. It's not _just_ Bo, even if she's a big part of it. But we're not even sure, right? I mean, maybe you're still valkyrie-blitzed or it's like, leftover feels from when you offed Inari—"

His arm squeezed around her. "I started feeling this long before then, I just… I didn't know how _deeply_ until everything with Inari."

"Right, so maybe it's not a mate-bond, y'know? Maybe it's just the natural Kenzi allure… And then, maybe it's not as important to risk everything, right?" She swallowed tightly, gripping the fabric of his shirt tight so she wouldn't wave her hand around as she felt herself on the verge of babbling. "'Cause that means you've still got some hot, fae mate out there, waiting for your wolf mojo, and I… I don't want to be the dumb human standing on the sidelines, playing the martyr card by letting you go so you can be happy. Even if we're _not_ mates, I'm gonna be head over six-inch heels in love with you, and that's going to _seriously_ hurt. So I just think we should be smart about this and not put all your eggs in one gothed up, human basket, y'know?"

"Kenzi?"

She turned her head, her eyes seeking his out hesitantly. "Yeah?"

He bent his head and kissed her, long and deep, until she was dizzy with it, and seriously reconsidering the turtle-slow limitation she'd put on them. When he drew back, she was breathless, her lips bruised, and her eyes a little hazy.

"I'm in love with you," he said simply. "I'm going to be in love with you tomorrow." He kissed the corner of her lips. "And next week." Her chin. "And next month." Her neck. "And next _year_." Her shoulder. "You're _stuck_ with me."

"There are worse fates…" she murmured absently, focused entirely on his lips moving down her arm. "That's not very sloth-like…"

He grinned, lightly biting her skin, and finally laid back again. "We'll figure it out tomorrow."

"Right." She nodded, hugging him close and telling her hormones to stop wigging out. This was so not the time! She had to execute all of her self-control, so everybody needed to keep it in their pants. Never mind that Dyson kissed her like nobody ever had before him, like she was cherished and desired and always would be. Or that he felt the same way about her that she did him, which she'd never really expected 'cause, _hello_ , sidekick never gets the hero. Or that it might not just be the ordinary, garden variety kind of love but like, an epic, forever kind of _mating bond_ love. That all had to go on the backburner for now.

He reached over to turn the lamp out before sinking lower in her bed, tucking the blanket in around her, his hands smoothing over her shoulders and down her arm, warm and callused and strong. She shivered, biting her lip.

"Cold?"

She shook her head. She was warm from head to toe, nice and toasty. She rubbed her toes against his leg and closed her eyes. The warmth wasn't just coming off of Dyson, but from inside of her. A flickering flame reaching out to his wick, desperate to light it.

Tomorrow, she promised.

If all went well and Bo trusted her, if she was truly ready to move on with the Doc and leave Dyson behind her, then Kenzi would let it happen. She'd let herself be happy, let herself love Dyson, and she wouldn't bottle it all up and pack it away.

One of his hands slid gently up her spine, his fingers gently stroking the nape of her neck soothingly, while the other covered hers on his chest, tracing in and out of her knuckles and down the lengths of her fingers until the muscles relaxed and she wasn't clutching him anymore, but resting easily, safe and comfortable and finally content.

The icy hold Inari's cave on her melted away and the lonely distance she'd considered putting between her and Dyson was now an unwanted memory. Maybe it wouldn't be easy and maybe Bo wouldn't be okay with it. Maybe Dyson would have to remain a friend and she'd return to her single, sidekick status. Maybe, down the road, Dyson would meet his real mate, in a gorgeous fae that made Kenzi look pathetic in comparison. Or, maybe, Bo would understand and support them, Kenzi would stop pretending she didn't have it bad for wolf-man from the get-go, and Dyson would be happy with his little, human mate, quirky as she was. Just maybe.

**Author's Note:**

> _So, this is my first Kenzi/Dyson fic. It was supposed to be short but you'll find it rarely is when that's my aim. I hope you liked it and that it was in-character._
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> _I do have another, multi-chapter Kenzi/Dyson fic in the planning stages, so I'd love some feedback._
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> _Thanks for reading!_
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> - **Lee**  
>  ~ **Fina** ~


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